Finding Creativity After Divorce

I have a confession to make:

When I was in my marriage, I allowed my creative spark to die out. I've always been a creative person - sewing, painting, crochet, clay - anything creative, I've tried it. But when I was in survival mode, when I was just trying to get through the days, that creative light of mine dimmed. And slowly, day by day, it was nearly extinguished...

...but not completely.

No, it was still there, just a little buried. and this month, we’re digging it out. We’re feeding that fire again.

Today, we’re talking about creativity and how to find your inner passion after a huge life altering event.

First things first, take a deep breath. Close your eyes and think. Before this life upheaval, what did you actually like doing? What brought you joy? What did you like to create? And what do you want to create now?

Now of course, our interests can change over time. We may find that what we used to like to do no longer fills us with that spark. My creative passions have certainly changed over time - they evolved just like I have. I used to love to sew costumes, but I “outgrew” that in a sense. But I still had a passion for making clothes. So I started there.

I bought some sewing and fashion courses online, wanting to learn all about how to properly sew and design something with nothing but a vibe and a prayer. But soon, that passion died out. It just seemed a little bit too daunting. I hadn’t sewn in a LONG time, and I’d NEVER designed something on my own that was a success. This was not the correct route for me.

But something I was good at that I had been doing for a long time? Makeup. I’ve always loved makeup. I love how confident it makes me feel and how you can play with it to convey so many different moods on one’s face. So I started there instead.

I changed my daily makeup look. Completely. Which for me was really scary. I’d been rocking the same look for well over 10 years with very little delineation. But I knew it was time for a change. I went from a bold, black, winged eyeliner to a softer, subtle, barely there brown eyeliner. Liquid foundation was exchanged for cushion. Matte lipsticks were traded for glossy lip oils. And my cheeks became a lot rosier.

And… I loved it. I hadn’t felt that pretty in a long time. This was my first step towards creativity. Something familiar, yet new.

My next step didn’t come for at least another month. I was very uncertain where to start. I had so many ideas, wondrous, beautiful ideas swirling around in my head, it was almost impossible to pick one. What did I want to do for myself? What would make ME happy? But then, a certain season came around.

Christmas time.

My parents and I got to decorating right after Thanksgiving. But there was something missing. A decoration for the dining room table. The table sat there empty, looking unacceptably un-festive. And my mom asked me something: would I create a centerpiece for her?

Now years ago, I had made her this table center piece for Halloween.

A pumpkin with a nighttime scene painted on it. And my mom loved this pumpkin! So did I. And I wanted to emulate that again. I thought and thought until it finally hit me. It was truly a God given epiphany - a gift box with a different winter scene painted on each side! I was set on it.

So I got to work. I started with sketching the scenes on a drawing app on my tablet. It took many tries and many reworks, but eventually I got four scenes that my mom (and I) absolutely adored.

I got a fancy white gift box and started right away. It had been YEARS since I painted, so my hand was a little shaky. But still, I persisted. No unsteady hand would get in between me and this soon-to-be masterpiece.

It took me awhile, naturally life got in the way (work, family, adult obligations), but after a week, it was done! And I was in LOVE. And so was my mom!

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/524975_1058aba0c27248709f9d51618646757d/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

It was exactly what I’d imagined. And probably the furthest thing from where I had thought my creative journey would start (the sewing).

And that’s what I think the main point of all of this is. If you can’t be creative for yourself, be creative for someone else. It doesn’t have to be big - a handmade card for example - but just something to brighten someone’s day.

I think when we do something for someone else, we’re a lot more likely to start and a lot more likely to finish. And, eventually, this led me to getting something for my own creative gain. I just needed that external push.

What can you do creatively to bring a smile to someone else’s face? Start small. Pick a medium you know, but that may have fallen through the cracks recently, and just START.